Fourth down and seven with a minute thirty eight left to play when your team is down six, what do you do? You die of a heart attack in front of your grandchildren, traumatizing them for the rest of their lives. At least that’s the latest from the American Medical Association (AMA). New reports find…
Saints @ Seahawks High powered offense vs. a bone crunching defense. Who wins this game? The Seahawks mascot. That’s right, one little known fact about the Seahawks is that they have a 13th man (12th obviously being their loudmouth fans). UPFL insiders tell me that they have been training Taima (thunder) the hawk all year…
Chiefs @ Colts: We nailed this one. Nuff said! Saints @ Eagles: Turns out the fairy we mentioned in our wild card prediction was simply a regular LSD user. That was our bad. Chargers @ Bengals: Once again we get the prediction right, proving The UPFL is the best in the business when it comes…
Sometimes being a reporter is very difficult. The people you write about very often take exception to the content of your article, and your readers all believe they can do their job better than you can. You are constantly met with a barrage of insults toward your insights and your mother and it sometimes can…
Chiefs @ Colts: Roger Goodell suspends the chiefs because their name is racist. Colts take this one by default. Chiefs 0 Colts 0 Saints @ Eagles: How it happens, I can’t really say. All we know is that the fairy has spoken. Eagles 41 Saints 30 Chargers @ Bengals: The Chargers, much like Philip River’s…
Every year in December children gather around the television and wait for the weather man to tell them where the magic guy who breaks into your house is located (Santa). The weather man uses his multi-million dollar machine, which is unable to accurately predict if it is raining or not at this exact second, to…
Jay Cutler has been the quarterback of the Chicago Bears for the past 5 years and is probably the Bears first respectable quarterback since George Blanda. His tenure with the Bears, however, was in question after Cutler’s contract came to an end on a season when the Bears missed another playoff opportunity with a loss…
With the NFL reeling for coaches, one rumor has caught our attention. An NFL insider has reported that Brett Favre is currently in talks with the Detroit Lions about becoming their next head coach. Since then the media world was set ablaze with the news of a potential return of number 4. In a press…
More news has come in on the coaching front, this time it is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who have just hired coach Lovie Smith. Smith spent 6 years with the Chicago Bears as head coach with a record of 81-63. Smith is considered to be a great defensive coach who will no doubt improve the…
It looks like the milti-bajillionaire Donald Trump has yet another business venture. Along with his many lucrative businesses and sub-par television series, the Donald has been seen brushing shoulders with many NFL owners and has established himself as a consultant. As of 5:00 p.m. on December 31st, 49 total head coaches have been fired, including…
Breaking News! Shortly after receiving his brand new job as a college football analyst for the upcoming SEC Network, Tim Tebow was invited to join governor Rick Scott at the state capitol of Florida. The celebration was cut short, however, after Tallahassee swat team stormed the capitol and brought Mr Tebow into custody. No statement has…
Over the past 17 week the Green Bay Packers have shown why they are the team to beat in the race to Super Bowl XLVIII. With a 8-7-1 record, the Packers, with their ability to win more games than they lost, proved to be too great of a challenge for their division rivals. The packers…
The Unprofessional Football League 